Spectral Observations

District 9 joins other “blockbusters” in this summer’s slew of cinematic disappointments August 18, 2009

Never before have I been more disappointed after a summer of TERRIBLE movies! Typically, the summer and the term “blockbuster” are often seen together, and for good reason. This summer was monumental in the sense that NOTHING even close to monumental was produced on the big screen. District 9 was supposed to change all that for me. Endorsed by beloved Peter Jackson (director of the critically acclaimed Lord of the Rings trilogy), I suddenly had high expectations and became very excited to see this flick. No big name actors and an evidential, original theme began to perk my interests. Interests that would fade to dismay about 10 minutes or so into the film that is……..

The movie opens up with the innocuous display of an alien mother ship hovering over Johannesburg in Africa. You are slowly but surely introduced to District 9, the area directly below the mother ship, in which the aliens (scientific definition) are treated and living like aliens (political definition). How did they get to District 9, and why aren’t they still in their ship? Well, half of that question isn’t ENTIRELY answered (only eluded to, at best!), but I’ll go ahead and fill you in on the absolute of those two inquiries. Scientists and the MNU (a ficticious organization in the movie that resembles a United Nations, but filled entirely with morons) determine that it is best to go ahead and drill a hole in the innocuous, floating ship. This takes place after “x” amount of days of the ship just appearing in Johannesburg and lifelessly hovering. At any rate, they drill holes into the ship and find, much to their surprise, aliens!! Driven by research and determination to find answers relating to hostility and advanced weaponry, the humans begin to shuttle the aliens down to District 9.

Fairly soon after being introduced to the intriguing premise of this movie, you are introduced to the sorriest ass excuse for a main character I have ever seen. His name is Wikus, and though director Blomkamp probably thought he was creating a revolutionary character, and he unintentionally did, but the wrong kind! Wikus is a nice enough guy, and can’t seem to get over himself after the new promotion bestowed in him from his boss and father in law. Wikus was appointed to a new position that headed the recently approved mass exodus of the aliens from District 9 to District 10. The move is largely due to the people of Johannesburg pushing for alienation of the…..aliens J

It doesn’t take long for a legitimate lover of science fiction to utterly detest Wikus. He is spineless, witless, and would get his ass kicked in a fight with McLovin’. Honestly, there are no redeeming qualities in this guy. The MNU decides it’s in their best interest to have Wikus and his crew begin to serve notices of eviction to the aliens. This really throws me into a loop, and never really gets fully explained in the movie. However, what you do find out is that most of the aliens are too stupid to argue, and end up signaling (or signing if they’re smart enough) their human given name. It was at this part of the movie I felt I was watching an episode of COPS. Wikus berates all his alien residences, and feels it necessary to display his community college level (if that) education level of authority given to him. I felt a STRONG correlation of racism and the events taking place in the movie. At any rate, eventually Wikus attempts to serve an alien who is vastly smarter (at least in the perception of a human). This particular alien has been chemically altering/collecting various substances the last 20 years to help fuel a ship that he has hidden underground, under his trailer home in District 9. Upon doing a completely unnecessary search, Wikus comes across the metal casing that contains this substance. He spills some, and winds up accidently ingesting some as it sprayed all over his face.

Slowly, but surely….Wikus begins to mutate into one of the aliens. After MNU essentially betrays him and decides to cut him up for research (a punishment condoned by the boss/step father), Wikus escapes the suddenly-not-so-secure MNU compound in fear of his life. He becomes determined to find a cure so he can return to his wife who is anything but trust worthy, and secretly helping MNU recover Wikus for the imperative research. Wikus somehow, someway, makes his escape all the way back to District 9, where he is reconnected with Cristopher, the alien whom owned the spread he found the vial in. After scatter brained dialogue, Cristopher informs Wikus he can help cure him on the mothership, but that they need the rest of the fluid that MNU confiscated. After completely debunking the idea they could break into MNU and get it back (Wikus goes on and on about how stupid an idea that is because the security is so top notch, etc etc), Wikus grows frustrated and leaves rudely. Eventually, he comes to terms with the fact it’s his only chance, so the duo makes way for the MNU compound. Though seemingly impossible to infiltrate, they have a few tricks up their sleeves. Wikus is now developed enough that one of his arms is completely alien, which means his alien hand can utilize the alien guns, which are far superior to the human made ones. In fact, the alien weapons are SO much better/efficient, it’s the main reason behind MNU wanting to make an anatomy project out of Wikus. The MNU wants to find out the exact secret that lets aliens use their weapons but not humans.

10 or so minutes later, Wikus and Cristopher have the vial and are heading back to District 9. Yes, that’s right. After wasting 40+ minutes of the movie after Wikus decides it would be utterly impossible to penetrate MNU’s defenses, it only takes 10-15 mins for them to do it and get back safely to District 9. Here is where the plot really thickens……or at least attempts to. They get back to Cristopher’s haven, and he begins to explain that it will take him 3 years to cure Wikus because he must first travel to his home planet to get help for the millions of his comrades being mistreated and stranded here on earth. Pissed beyond all recognition and blowing his only opportunity to show some spine and make a man out of himself, Wikus grows uncontrollably scared (like the little pussy he is!) and winds up knocking out Cristopher. After he does this, I immediately thought, “wow…..how the hell is he going to fly the ship now?”, but before I had a few minutes to come up with my own answer, Wikus had already grabbed the controls, fueled the ship, and was ready to rock and roll. He shows a little bit of reservation and hesitation once the ship is air born, but prior to that, you get the notion that his alien DNA contained the skills used to pilot the ship. He gets shot down, and the main action sequences for this movie begin to ensue. Cristopher wakes up and quickly realizes his son was still on the ship with Wikus. Devoted to being a model dad, Cristopher loses all recognition for his own life and risks it all to save his son and find the ship. He meets back up with Wikus during a crossfire, and only after Wikus’ back gets pushed to a wall does he finally agree to help Cristopher. In control of some alien weaponry, Wikus serves as a distraction for Cristopher, but before he can totally redeem himself, makes note that Cristopher needs to hurry before Wikus changes his mind. This is a typical self-sacrifice that we see in a lot of movies, but this time it was different because you know Wikus actually meant that when he said it. Most times when we are faced with this cinematic scenario it’s to shield the ego of the character making the sacrifice. At any rate, Wikus holds off long enough to let Cristopher escape, but before he does, he STILL promises Wikus to return in three years and help him.

In closing, save your money with this one, and wait for it to debut on Netflix. I have never been more pissed at how a potentially awesome movie could be ruined. The humans and aliens never speak the other races language, but they communicate quite fluidly. For example, an alien could speak to Wikus in alien, Wikus could then in turn respond in English, and both parties had a fairly good understanding of each other. Some aliens were clearly better than others, which begs the question, what sort of program was installed to help communication between the humans and aliens? If Wikus and Cristopher were able to acquire (through a faulty transaction with a boss mob) alien weapons and drastically alter the MNU perception of security, why wouldn’t all the aliens save up their caps to buy guns from the pirates at District 9 and reclaim their dignity? Well, the movie actually does a fairly good job of explaining how naturally peaceful the aliens are, but come on now……If they invented weapons, they at least meant for them to be used in extreme circumstances. Circumstances such as being extracted from your ship, forced to live in slums not suited for millionaires, then relocated to an even shittier living situation might require some push and shove. Who’s to say, though, that’s just my idea. Why did the all powerful MNU allow pirate scrubs to run illegal activities in District 9 with the aliens? Why didn’t the scientists explore the ship after they drilled a hole and “rescued” the aliens? Or, if they did explore it, what did they find, other than weapons? In fact, how the hell did they come up with the initial idea that they could just expect these aliens to bend over and take it like a former husband of a praying mantis? Why did that lightning looking from the mothership spawn a mech-warrior thingie? Why did that lightning only make ONE mech-warrior thingie? District 9 opens the door to an endless possibility of intriguing story developments, but either cuts them off out of left field or completely ignores them as the film progresses.  Rather than answer or explore any of their plethora of intriguing story/plot developments, they simply push them aside and CREATE NEW ONES…..I saw a better film depicting distant, faux like realities earlier this summer. Though not as good as critically acclaimed Terminator 2, Terminator Salvation beats District 9 at nearly everything. Yes, that’s even with Christian Bale’s batman voice screening over to John Conner in a super predictable plot/outcome movie.