Social Networking; Benefits, Negatives, Annoyances

 

a little piece of me dies everytime I see this logo

 

 

The digital revolution has brought about many, many changes within our world. First, it was the extinction of manuscript letter writing and forever changed the ways of communication. Phone calls are also undoubtedly less common this day and age. Even your bills/bank statements are being handled online, electronically (well,  if you’re environmentally responsible and efficient they are!). It seems the last few years have begun the next biggest shift in modern communication. Email, which once eclipsed modern mail as we know it is beginning to take the back seat to social networking sites. Facebook and Myspace lead the pack in changing the way that people not only connect with current friends, but reconnect with friends of the old. Personally, I’m a Facebook type of guy. Simple enough, but has plenty of capability, and less spam/teeny boppers asking to be my friend. I can log on, check out what’s new with my friends, and share a couple funny links I have found throughout the day. I probably check my Facebook 10-15 times a day, and probably more than that if I’m at work and bored. My Blackberry makes sure to inform me anytime someone writes me on Facebook. I have a Myspace account too, but seldom use it. I pretty much only have it to keep in touch with my sister. My sister is a diehard Myspace addict and can’t deal with the hardships of not being able to customize a Facebook page with things like a Hello Kitty dressed up as a Stormtrooper. Ok, bad example, that’s actually pretty damn funny. However, most customizations of Myspace pages tend to down right annoy/piss me off! You’re not hardcore, you’re not a unique and individual little snowflake, and nobody cares that you are on your quest to “find yourself” or something else equally lame to being unemployed, uneducated, and socially worthless. To me, there is an obvious generation gap with these social networking sites. Myspace definitely seems the haven for 12-18 year olds,while  Facebook seems to dominate 18+. Both can be great tools if used properly for social networking, but both can tend to drive one insane and give new insights to “friends”.

Enter Twitter. What are you doing? A catchy little motto that grabs the attention of self consumed mongoloids who honestly think the rest of the social networking world give a shit about what they’re doing every time they take a few seconds to type one line and enlighten us. Tweet Tweet!! Alison is trying the new Herbal Essence! OK, OK….. Perhaps I’m being a little too harsh at ones enthusiasm for taking a shower and using some new shampoo (this is also a hypothetical situation, but those of you who “tweet” know this is entirely realistic, sadly). Actually, NO, I’m NOT! What good comes from this? Do I get to see a quick synopsis of how the new Herbal Essence was in the shower? Lots of bubbles, hardly any bubbles? Smell good, smell bad? Invigorating and refreshing feeling all around after using? It’s better than $1 Suave Ocean Breeze because……? No, I DON’T!!!! Let’s pretend I was actually interested in Alison’s endeavour with the Herbal Essence. I anxiously await her next Tweet, only to find out that I won’t be receiving convincing evidence that this new Herbal Essence is actually worth Tweeting about, but rather that she is now eating Captain Crunch reading the Newspaper!

Twitter, Facebook, and Myspace is a breeding ground for a few different classifications of annoying people, whom if it were up to me, would be digitally purged one by one. Joined by the common belief that they are all incredibly interesting and that everyone on their friend list can’t wait to see their newest link, quote, or status update, they have unknowingly looked foolish and silly. Well, at least to me. Let’s take a look as to why. 

Type A) The Narcissist: The vane absolutely love Twitter, or any social networking sites for that matter. They honestly believe their constant updates (likely exceeding 10 times a day) are not only interesting, but world changing. People better themselves if they are keeping up with the Narcissists tweets and status updates on social networking sites. This is undoubtedly silly, but the funniest part of this is it’s actually true. The Narcissist has some sort of learning disability that I think is currently unclassified. They struggle with relevant issues, and often have to make things up that sound good, but are completely bogus. This often works because the large consensus of people don’t know what’s going on with the world anyhow, and sheep syndrome sinks in. Some loud mouth with a social networking profile starts a fire of horse shit that quickly travels and somehow strengthens. Disagree with the narcissist and you face virtual expulsion. Actually, forget about disagreeing, simply THINK different from the narcissist, and you risk being called names such as “idiot”, “moron” or a myriad of other cool cut downs the narcissist probably had to Google to come up with. Narcissists often post quotes from songs (generally terrible ones at that) to express themselves, or something like that. Somehow, someway, these posts get responses. Don’t ask me how.

Type B) The Creeper: Anyone with any sort of social networking site has had an experience with The Creeper. My aunt, God bless her heart, recently joined the ranks of Facebook. Naturally, I add her, and we begin to joke back and forth much like I do with all of my other friends. One day she texts me about some dude that apparently tried to add her as a friend, but she has no idea who he is. She’s taken back and absolutely can’t believe this is happening!!! Who does that? Well, The Creeper does, and those of us that consider ourselves veterans of social networking aren’t the least bit surprised. This particular situation is an example of a hybrid of Type B) and Type C), which I’ll get to momentarily. The Creeper doesn’t have any REAL social skills, so it must rely on clever use of virtual stalking (or as one of my friends prefers to call it, “investigating”, sigh!) to catch certain perks of interest to start a conversation. The Creeper will randomly send private messages with off the wall, and often lude comments that they would NEVER say in a face to face conversation. That’s the sure fire way to know someone is The Creeper. Things said exclusively online but never in person are a great, exclusive trait of The Creeper. If only the narcissist would adopt that trait……… The Creeper can also be found leaving public messages that should generally be private. I’m talking serious stuff here. Break ups, deaths, and otherwise serious depressing stuff that should be left to private messages are generally exposed in an attempt to gather undying love and attention. I feel for these people, but enough to leave them a comment letting them know they’re my favorite person in the world and it will all be ok. If I did leave a comment, it would probably be overlooked. Why call your mother, spouse, or best friend when you can let the whole world know of your “misery” and receive countless amounts of seemingly worthless bouts of inspiration and comments from your friends and digital acquaintances. Advice from people you see in person three to four times a year somehow reigns supreme to The Creeper. 

Type C) Everybody’s “Friend”: This guy boasts the largest friend list you have ever seen. Awed and perhaps jealous at first, you begin to think how many of his “friends” are actually friends. Call me silly and outdated, but I don’t throw the term friend around to every human being I have a class with or come across. Bottom line is, Facebook and Myspace don’t have an “acquaintance” tab, or at least not that I know of. This however confuses Type C), as it spends a good portion of the day adding (mostly by semi-random selection of people who live within a 30 mile radius) people to their ranks. 

Type D) All of the Above: Need I say more!?

These people are destroying social networking. This incredible tool has so many positive uses, it’s depressing to see these types of people trying to exploit the true purpose behind social networking. Communication and, well, networking! Networking is such an invaluable tool to have at your fingertips. I can’t tell you how many times Facebook has saved my ass academically. Struck with the genetic (my mother is so forgetful/delusional it’s embarrassing at times) disorder of extreme forgetfulness, I have to write everything down that I need to do scholastically. Sometimes, on the rare day that I’m bored out of my mind in class, I get lazy like anyone else and just use acronyms or shortcuts to write down assignments. When it comes time to decipher this message and do the actual assignment, I’m dumbfounded and confused. A quick login to Facebook to message one of my classmates generally cures this. 

Unemployed? Surf your good friends Facebook pages and check out what they have listed for their current employment. Ask a bro to hook it up. In fact, just be attentive to your friends’ status updates and you might just see a direct link to apply for one! Need a new car? Roommate? Xbox360? I could go on and on of the incredible benefits to social networking.

Haven’t started social networking yet? Don’t worry, it’s NOT TOO LATE. Don’t feel like you’re too old, or anything else similarly ridiculous. Truth is, I guarantee you’ll be surprised to find how many of your old friends you can reconnect with. Just be careful of the people listed above, they do exist, and sadly, in mass quantities! Share your thoughts with others, reflect on thoughts from others, and above all….Have fun! Social networking can be very fun and entertaining, and even make someone’s day. On the 8th day, Al Gore created the internetz. Go forth and network, but be safe and mindful!

 

**disclaimer – this post is entirely opinionated based on observations and thoughts from the author. if you are reading this and are offended, please don’t digitally, or vitally purge yourself as previously suggested. however, please go outside and get some sunshine, something tells me you need it.