Spectral Observations

Normally, it is an extraordinary day when Wimbledon, The Championships begins. A day I have marked on my calendar. It is the tournament every tennis enthusiast yearns for. It is the tournament where the environment is unmatched by any other Slam, much less tournament. It is the tournament with the most legacy, prestige, and gamesmanship. A true testament to the meaning of “The Championships”. However, this Grand Slam (along with the others) is now tainted to me. It started as a small pebble rolling down a snow covered mountain, but has accumulated into a catastrophic ball of filth, horse shit, and disrespect. Dear Mary, you have effectively ruined 4 of my happiest times of the year. Grand Slams.

As a blogger, I am freely open to state my opinion(s) on issues that I feel are relatively important enough to digitally codify. In this case, I will exercise my concern for the brutality of professional tennis as we know it. The commentating of Mary Carillo is hurting the tennis world. As a tennis enthusiast, I am absolutely repulsed at how she has continued to effectively chip away at my love for professional tennis. At first, I just started to mute the TV and continue watching the matches. Eventually, though, you realize it’s just not the same to not hear the crack of the ball, the sound of the crowd, and the grunts of the competitors. All of these are essential to the professional match experience! The emotions run high, and the tension can be shared by experiencing these typical sounds of a match. I’ll tell you what I can do without, though. Mary Carillo. The world would honestly be a better place without her on the air waves. Andre Agassi, Maria Sharapova, and the William’s Sisters agree. All of them refuse contact and interaction with Carillo.

Many of us are familiar with Mary’s style of commentating. When she’s not stirring up ridiculous theories on unrelated matters, she can be heard with her John Madden esque approach to the game. It’s often mind numbing. Knowing Carillo was a former professional herself, I used to figure she knew what she was saying and that as an amateur of sorts, I should listen and learn. Sweet sassy molassy, I don’t think I could have been further off. Have you heard this woman talk? I can’t decide if I’m watching an NTRP 2.0 grand prix finals match or a legitimate, professional match. Yes, Mary, if you are reading, you are THAT bad. In fact, it’s become relatively clear why you were never able to do anything noteworthy as a player in the sport, and as such, obviously feel compelled to leave your mark on the game as a bitter commentator. Apparently, you have forgotten what it’s like to be in the heat of a rally, game, set, match, and tournament. You wait for an error by one of the players to open the flood gates on the million things they could have done differently to “win” the point. Honestly Mary, it’s like when John Madden says the Cowboys should have went with the half-back sweep AFTER getting stuffed in the middle on 3rd and 1. Obvious, and stupid.

Yes, Mary, on top of your general stupidity, you are bitter, and it’s obvious to viewers. It’s sad that you had knee problems that essentially put an end to your run as a professional tennis player. Honestly, it is sad. Try and think about that moment when you cast your judgments on current professionals facing injuries, suggesting faking and the likes. Yes, the viewers are watching when Jankovic or Djokovic takes a break for a “cramp”, and whatever else. You don’t need to comment on how obvious it seems to you. You’re not the one playing in the 100+ degree heat against current professionals in the top 10. Bitch, please……You were never ranked higher than 33 in your three year career, and your highlight is winning a mixed doubles draw with JOHN MCENROE as your partner. You’re lucky you grew up with John, Mary, or you wouldn’t even have that claim to fame. Alona Bondarenko. Wait, what? Oh, that’s the current number 33 on the WTA. Enough said.

“I just wish players looked over the body of work, rather than one or two comments,” Carillo said. She continued with, “My job is to take the information I have and back it up with opinions. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. Criticism from players and coaches is just part of the business.” Well, she certainly had an opinion when Monica Seles was tragically stabbed in 1993, effectively ending her career as a professional tennis player for the next two years. Fact of the matter was, Monica was never the same on the court after this tragedy. The terror was too much for her, and after mustering up one last Grand Slam singles title, she retired. Carillo, though, had a different take on the situation. “Monica’s going to milk this sucker dry. Tennis is just a stepping-stone. Her real goal is being a star.” Apparently winning nine Grand Slam singles titles wasn’t enough for Monica to reach stardom, so she was forced to milk getting knifed in the back with a 10” blade for every piece of fame it was worth!

Let’s rewind to the US Open in 2007. In reference to Shahar Pe’er (Israel) winning her match, Mary Carillo was quoted saying, “The Jew won today.” Though she would correct herself later in the commentary, the damage had been done. When Don Imus called a bunch of Rutgers female hoopsters “nappy headed hos”, it didn’t matter how much he apologized. Why is Carillo still announcing for ESPN/NBC? My only train of logical thought is that tennis, obviously, doesn’t generate the viewing of other sports. It’s sad that many of you are probably unaware of these examples I’m pointing out. If Jeff Van Gundy(NBA analyst) had said anything like this, he would be gone with no questions asked. I would read/see it on the net, on PTI, and Sportscenter. Not just for a day, either, but for weeks upon weeks.

What exactly was the breaking point for me with you, Mary? Your disregard for manners and blatant display of disrespect to Roger Federer this morning was my melting point. Rather than focusing on how Roger could cement history with his 15th Grand Slam win at the same site he netted his first, you started right off with the crying at the end of last year’s finals, commonly referred to as the greatest match of all time by commentators who know a thing or two about the sport.

Some may claim that Mary simply makes such statements to stir the pot or get tennis talked about. This is essentially admitting Mary Carillo has sold her soul to make a dollar out of the sport who has made her who she is today. Fair trade, right? I think not, Mary. Quit making a mockery out of the sport who has given you the purse to pay your mortgage. Quit ripping on players who have accomplished things you can’t even dream about. Stop “stirring the pot” and trying to add persons to your already large hater list. You haven’t even won a TV commentator related award in like 20 years now. You’re pathetic, do the fans of tennis a favor and retire before you find a way to submerge below rock bottom. We got rid of Gimmelstob, and now it’s time to do away with you too.